Staying Alive

Are you scared of dying?
When I entered my adult years and had a little more wisdom about the world around me I had decided I wasn’t going to be scared of leaving this world. I trust in God and knew that in heaven there would be no more suffering and that I would see my loved ones.
That all changes from the moment you see those little lines that tell you you are going to be a mother and bring another being into this crazy world! If it doesn’t get to you then, it will when you first look into those little eyes that are looking back at you. You realize you finally have something to live for an it it hits you like a punch in the gut; this small helpless being needs me.
I know I can’t protect her from everything but I can try my best to stay well for her. Scenarios play in my head all day. What if there is a car accident, a shooting, a storm and the list goes on, what if? I feel that I have to be prepared for anything and everything.
I’m afraid of dying. I’m afraid of not being there for her. I have to stay alive.


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